Practicing self compassion

I find that many of my clients are awesome at being compassionate for others and make it a point to be kind to the people in their lives, but they often struggle with bringing that same energy to themselves. This is something I relate to with my clients and can often be a common ground for us in session.

So how do we bring that same energy to ourselves when we feel like we can’t do anything right? It’s a skill we need to develop, just like any other skill we want to be good at. Here are some ways that worked for me and some of my clients.

• Reminding ourselves that we are humans, not machines. We are going to make mistakes, but we have the ability to own up to them and do better.

• Practicing the mantra of “Progress not perfection”. When we are depressed or sick, we might have trouble with basic care tasks like brushing our teeth, doing the dishes or even showering. Do what you can in the moment and work on things that help with the bigger tasks down the line. It could be as simple as gathering the cups from your bedroom into a box by the door to get to the kitchen eventually, or sitting down in the shower if standing is too much at the moment.

• Practice positive self talk. It doesn’t have to be puppies and rainbows, but you can change the thought from “Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot” to “That wasn’t a great choice to make there, but I know better for next time”.

• Visualize or name your thoughts of anxiety or self criticism. As an example, I envision my inner critic as an unwashed furby. It’s hard to believe that I’m not worth anything when it comes from something like that.

These are only some of the ways that people found worked for them, you may have something else that works. Therapy can help you to find those if you are having trouble. DC is accepting new clients in Ohio, but if you’re outside of Ohio, you can look at directories like Psychology Today or Good Therapy to find a therapist in your area.

#therapy #mentalhealth #innercritic #selfcompassion #selftalk